Roadblocks

All my life I have felt like I have had to work really hard to do anything. There always seemed to be roadblocks in my way. I had great ideas, the best of intentions but I struggled to follow the intention with action. Does that make any sense???

Once I quit smoking and started treating my anxiety in earnest, the roadblocks started to go away. It was a strange concept for me but suddenly I would think of something to do and I would do it. It used to be that I would think of something, think that I won't be able to do it the the way it "should" be done and so I wouldn't even try. If I did do it, it took a whole lot of "mustering" to get it done and I put it off as long as I could.

A friend pointed out that this was a form of perfectionism. I was like "I don't think so. I am a lazy procrastinator. That is far from a perfectionist.". He explained further..."You envision how you think something should be done, the perfect way it should be done. You then decide that you will not be able to accomplish it perfectly so you don't do it.". Ahhhh, light bulb moment!!!

I am so grateful for the smart people I have in my life!