Perfectly Imperfect

I have wasted so much time trying to be perfect and more often not even trying because I knew I wouldn't be perfect. I have spent so much of my life uncomfortable in my own skin. Trying to be someone I thought I was supposed to be or should be. I thought I was supposed to have all the answers, know exactly how to react / respond in all situations. If I didn't, I was a failure.

Our culture is so focused on perfection and "fitting in". If we don't fit some pre-conceived mold, there is something "wrong" with us. I'm not perfect nor will I ever be. But I am... Perfectly Imperfect. I do the best I can. I make mistakes but hopefully I learn from them. I will make amends when necessary. I will never know all the answers.

Don't you remember thinking someday... when you "grow up", everything will be great??? Hell, I don't know if I will ever "grow up". Whatever that means. I was talking to a friend about an interaction I had with a child that hurt my feelings and she said. "Well... you're the adult. you can't show your hurt." At first I agreed and then I thought, why can't I show that I'm hurt? You don't quit getting hurt or struggling when you "grow up". Life is always going to have ups and downs, I am going to continue to make mistakes and guess what... IT"S OK!!!

I have found the most happiness in life when I'm at peace with it. No matter where I am at. Things can be really shitty but that's just where things are at. I can choose to be miserable during the shitty times or I can accept that things are shitty and have faith that it won't last forever. I am the person I am and I have the life that I have (which I LOVE) because of everything I have gone through. My struggles, my mistakes, my hurts all allow me to appreciate the little things.

I had to change my mindset as to what I thought I was aspiring to in life. It is not about achieving perfection. For me, it is about aspiring to live each day as the God of my understanding intends me to live it. I will do my best to help others without losing myself. To achieve a life of Perfect Imperfection.