Logic or Excuse?

I was working as a PT in Home Health and was taking an elderly woman for a walk in her neighborhood. One of her neighbor's home always had a bunch of cars at it. I asked her about it and she explained that a large extended family all shared the home. She said very matter of fact "They live differently than I do." There was no judgement in her statement. When I find myself being judgmental, I think of her.

One of the things I have struggled with is the idea of "logic" vs. "excuse". When I explain why I smoked, do you hear "logic" or "excuse"? What's the difference? For me, understanding the logic is understanding where some else is coming from, understanding the why of something. It's looking at things from another point of view. This concept has been instrumental in my growth as a person and in relationships. In our "nose to the grindstone" culture though, I think sometimes giving a "logic" is perceiving as giving an excuse.

When I understand the "logic", I am better able to be empathetic. With my anxiety, I tend to ruminate, to obsess. One of the things I can obsess about is when someone does / behaves in a way that is "Not what I would do". I have found it helpful to dig deeper and find out (or even just take some guesses) why they may do what they do. It helps to stop the obsessing and accept the situation for what it is and not try to change it.

When I understand the logic, I am in a much better position to be supportive and as needed, helpful.