Again, I Cried

Again, it felt so good.

I am taking an organic gardening class. As part of the class, we have to do "homework" every week. Which just means we have to go to the garden outside of class and put in some sweat labor. I am taking this class for a variety of reasons. I have discovered a love of cooking over the past couple of years. What better way to supplement our meals than with fresh veggies!

Another reason is that Mike was an organic farmer. Mike is my cousin who was killed two and half years ago. He was more like a brother to me and I still miss him terrible. In some way, I hoped to feel a closeness to him by taking this class. Tonight, I did.

I had done some very basic pruning in the garden and was walking back home. Lucky for me, the garden is within walking distance of our house. My thoughts drifted to Mike and I started to cry. The tragedy of his death haunts me. As I was walking and crying, for a brief moment, I felt like someone was giving me a hug. It was brief but significant. I felt comforted.

Mike's death has made me look at what I believe in with regards to the after life. I still don't know what that is but for a moment tonight, I felt he was with me. I cried most of the way home. Some were tears of joy for the moment of comfort, others were of grief, others were of gratitude. All of them felt good.