Right Where I Am Supposed to Be.

I can get so overwhelmed by everything I want to do and become. The beautiful things is, compared to any other point in my life, I am more content than ever before. Today, I am at peace with being right where I am. I am moving in a direction that is feels right in my soul. Am I there? No, but then I think, where is there? Can I just enjoy today for the gifts it brings?

I am happy to be present. To know there is is no "there". There is only today. There used to be someone in my life that thought that to be content was a negative thing. I am grateful to now know the wonderful beauty in contentment.

Happy Anniversary.

It has been four years since I quit smoking! Wow. In some ways it seems like so long ago, other times, not so long. I still crave the peace and serenity I felt smoking a cigarette. Everything seemed ok, if only for a short while. It was a short break from the insanity that was my life.

I think the bigger issue is how much my life has changed since I quit smoking. There really isn't much of my life that is the same. My home, career and car are different, I am now happily married. Most of the changes bring me great joy and happiness. I have a purpose and passion to my life that I never imaged I could have. I used to be so jealous of people who lived their life with passion. I would think "what is my passion?" My mind would literally draw a blank.

My core group of friends has completely changed. This was something I really didn't anticipate happening and I still don't understand why it did. But...it did. I have a wonderful group of friends today but I still feel a sadness for the ones that are no longer in my life.

Such is life. A subtle balance between happiness and sadness. There is joy in feeling both emotions because it reminds me that I alive.